I am not sure when and where to start on this topic. I could start right after my separation from my ex-boyfriend, but I do not think I had the same thoughts back then.
So I’m sitting at the table with two other women. They are both taken and I am single. It’s New Year’s Eve. They are about the same age as me and yet our goals could not be more different. The two women talk about their relationships and how they wait for him to finally propose. They seem to panic that in a few years they will be 30 and maybe not married yet. I just sit there and can not believe what kind of pressure they put on themselves. I am 28, single and just glad – from the bottom of my heart – that I really do not have the same thoughts. On the contrary: I’m afraid that a marriage and family could even be too early party of my life. Before I had the chance to explore myself and life enough.
I believe that I will be back in a relationship soon enough and then with all my heart. I do not care if I’m 23 or 33. I know society always tells us “you have to be married before 30”, but why is that? Isn’t that crazy old-school?
I believe that I should be able to enjoy myself and do everything now that would be difficult with a partner or with kids, like traveling whenever I want to or stay at the gym for hours. I don’t want to be impatient or feel a social pressure now and then think 10 years later that I should have given myself time. We are still so young, “even” with 30.
I have a great need to be able to be happy by myself and absorb as many experiences as possible. So my current situation is as follows: I have been back in Hamburg for about 1 year by now. Hamburg is the place where I grew up and which I already know so well. I was 3 years in the Netherlands. Coming back to Hamburg was ok for a while, but now it does not feel right. I feel like I have not arrived yet. That’s why I’m feeling so blessed that I have the freedom to put my life in a new direction and move to any place I want. To start a chapter that is new and exciting to me. I applied for a new job and now I’m in a new city all by myself.
So I am 28, single and just kinda re-designed my life. I am very proud and excited. I feel like it’s even easier to be single with 28 than it was with 23 years old.
Photo credits: Stefanie Thiele, IG @stefthiele